Jesters Corner

[windows]

Cyc that was superb, not come across that one before!

[jester]

CONTEMPORARY OPERAS
(These where borrowed from 'Shite's Unoriginal Miscellany', they are due back next Monday...)

S.-G. Eriksson (lib. by V. Beckham): Ariadne Im Argos (features the soprano/contralto duet
'Wo, wo ist der Katalog, Liebling?'
('Where, my darling, O where, is the catalogue?')

------
G. W. Bush & A. R. P. Blair (lib. by A. Campbell & D. Rumsfeld):
À La Recherché des Armes Perdus
(In Search of Missing Weapons);
features the so-called 'Lying Chorus',
'Nous avons trouvés les armements d'anéantissement de masse',
('We have found the WMD's')
and the tenor/baritone duet
'Va faire pipi, Be-be-se!'
('Go Away'*, BBC!')

Yours Jester

* Changed in the interests of 'Public Hygene' (also so that I won't have to Remove this Joke too)...

[hshortt]

The jester returns....

[jester]

Originally Posted by hshortt

The jester returns....

A Comedy for the whole 'Family'
Coming to a Cinema Near You Soon!!!



Yours Jester

PS: 'The Jester Returns....' is the sequel to 'The Jester Goes Shopping...' and 'The Jester Goes On Holiday...'

[jester]

Jesters Quick Guide to Some of
Ye Olde Kings and Queens of Merrie Olde England (924 - 1649)

Anglo-Saxon Kings

• 924-939 Athelstan; (15yrs, 102 days) : Last seen married to Hilda in Coronation Street...
  
• 975-978 Edward the Martyr; (2yrs, 253 days) : Really was a Martyr to his Lumbago...
  
• 978-1016 Ethelred the Unready; (38yrs, 36 days) : Never did master the art of getting dressed, and so was always in a somewhat dishevelled state, when meeting people...
  
• 1016 Edmund Ironside; (222 days) : First known use of a 'Wheelchair' in history...
  
  Danish Kings
• 1013 Sweyn Forkbeard; (a few weeks) : 'Starved to death', his beard kept getting in the way of his fork at meal times...
  
• 1016-1035 Canute; (18yrs, 347 days) : This king really had a 'thing' about holidaying by the coast, where he loved to paddle in the waves...
  
  Anglo-Saxon Kings (cont.)
• 1042-1066 St Edward the Confessor; (23yrs, 294 days) : This one was a right 'pain' for ye olde police force, because he was always 'confessing' to every crime, that was reported by Ye Herald(early english newspaper)...
  
• 1066 Harold II; (283 days) : Lost the Battle of Hastings because he got something in his eye...
  
  Norman and Plantagenet Kings1066-1377
• William the Conqueror : Inventor of the game of Conker's, hence the name...
  
• Richard I 1189-1199 (third son of Henry II) : First known case of a heart transplant using an animal's heart, (in this case that of a lion)...
  
  Houses of Lancaster and York, 1377-1485
• Richard II 1377-1399 : Everybody got the 'hump' with this one...
  
  House of Tudor, 1485-1603
• Henry VIII 1509-1547 (Henry VII's second son) : Reputed to be the 'original author' of that well know ballad "I'm Henry the Eighth, I am"...
  
• Mary 1553-1558 (Henry's daughter by Queen Catherine) : Does the rhyme 'Mary, Mary quite contrary', ring a bell...
  
• Elizabeth I 1558-1603 (Henry's daughter by Anne Boleyn) : Also known as the 'Virgin Queen' because of her love for 'Virgin Mobile Phones'...
  
  House of Stuart, 1603-1714
• James I 1603-1625 (great-great-grandson of Henry VII) : Scottish, And 'Proud of It' (also Co-Founder of the MacDonalds fast food franchise, said by some to be the inspiration for the 'Mascot' Ronald)...
  
• Charles I 1625-1649 (second son of James) : Power really got to this one. So much so, that he quite lost his head...

and so dear reader, it is with regret that here, we have come to a parting of the ways... I hope that ye have enjoyed this 'jolly' little romp through ye annals of historie...

Yours Jester

[jester]

4 A Good Time 'Click' Here...

Yours Jester

The Jester would like to make it known, that he is, in no way, shape, or form, connected, related, or having a relationship with the Creator/Owner of the above site. The Jester and said Creator/Owner of the aforementioned site, just happen by pure chance and/or weird quirk of fate, to have the same first name, and the same taste in jokes...


The Jester also wishes it to be known that he will in no way be held responsible for any effects that are detremental to the reader that are a result of visiting the aforementioned site...

[jester]

Thought for the Day

If A Picture Paints A Thousand Words...

Then why do we use 'Dictionaries' instead of 'Colouring Books and Crayons'...

Yours Jester

[hshortt]

DOH!!!

[cyclist]

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

[fowljr]

Excellent!